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I ate very well yesterday, and I managed to be satisfied... however I am STARVING this morning.
Kashi Go Lean hot cereal isn't enough. Need more protein to fill up my gut. I think I'm going to have to eat a lean breakfast sandwich, since I really don't have anything else at work to eat.
Just thought you needed to know. Heh... I don't know why I write stuff sometimes. Boredom? Avoiding work?
For the life of me, I cannot remember any good snacks...and trying to avoid carbs is near impossible.
I purchased:
So, I guess this is a start. It's mostly processed, prepared food - but hey, I don't have alot of time on my hands to make fresh meals.
And the boys these days are cracking me up. What's up with the long hair hanging in your face? How in tha hell can you SEE? Lord, if I had a boy with hair like that... I know I'd be making fun of him. I'm sure my girls are going to get into stupid trends as well, and yes - we'll make fun of them. We're good parents like that.
So far, 2008, sucks major stinky ass. And those are not the actual words I was thinking, I was thinking "major donky dick" but since I'm a mom now, I paused to actually use that phrase. (Shutter) I have a major potty mouth. Savanna's next new phrase could be "what the fuck are you thinking" - (me driving in traffic.)
Let's see...
We moved - finding lots of annoying things about the house, luckily we didn't purchase it, but it'll do for a couple of years. We moved = stress, tons of money spent, things STILL NOT ORGANIZED. Friend's father died. Washer broke - had to buy a new one. Had to buy a new fridge - all at Christmas time. My mother flaked out on me with starting a business. Savanna had to go to the ER - which cost about $15K, that's not our out of pocket (THANK GOD). Amber has had an ear infection for a month - is resistant to oral antibiotics, and will have to have tubes in her ears very soon - seeing a specialist tomorrow. I'm on antibiotics, hubby is sick, it is probably only a matter of time before Savanna is sick. I need to grow a fucking money tree. You wouldn't believe the number of copays we've paid this month. As a mom, you don't freaking have time to be sick - you miss too many days with your kids being sick, so there are none left for you - the guilt creeps in, I feel like an absentee employee, but what can I do???? Seriously? Mommies don't get a break, unless there is family around to help - and we don't have that. I know, cry me a river.
While at the dr. for my illness, I discovered that I need to lose 18 lbs to be at my goal weight. Gag. I can wear a size 8, so I'm thinking my weight has been redistributed to my belly, which sucks too. I think that's the hardest fat to get rid of, but I've never had it before so I don't know. I had my gym bag all packed and ready - so what happens? I get sick. Getting in shape this time is going to be difficult. I've been pregnant for 2 years. While I didn't gain too much weight, I did eat whatever I wanted, didn't exercise and turned into a ball of mush. However, the double stroller that was one of my Xmas presents is very good for exercising and walking - that bitch is heavy, and our new neighborhood has some hills.
I've got to "remember" how to eat right. The biggest issue is going to be cutting out starches. Pasta and rice are major dinners at our house because they are quick & easy. Guess I can do whole wheat pasta, and brown rice, which means cooking 2 different pots of starches because Hubby won't touch the grain stuff. I found a nukable brown rice. I heard a commercial that Birds Eye now has single serving frozen steamable veggie bags - so I guess I can do frozen grilled chicken and a steamed veggie bag for lunch. I've got to come up with quick, easy, healthy dinners. With the season changing, grilling won't be a problem. It's a major learning curve again.
As a mom of 2 kids in diapers, my minutes literally bump into each other. I feel like I'm chasing after something, always - I do everything in a rush. My excuse is constantly "I don't have time for this/that". I guess it's time I make time, otherwise I will become bat shit crazy and fat(ter).
So, when I am well - I will go to the damn gym. I think pushing that bitch-ass stroller around in the wind this weekend is what sent my cold into infection mode.
Whatever... life goes on and is made beautiful by these 2 little miracles.
I'm sure I'm about to piss someone off, but This just pisses me off.
Because some parents don't realize that a spoon out of your cabinet isn't as precise as the dropper tips that come with the medicine, and because some parents aren't smart enough to figure out that Tylenol Cough & Cold probably has the same ingredient as Benedryl and that you shouldn't give your child BOTH, they are taken off the market for infants. Do parents not have some type of accountability for their children - accountability to read directions, to look up/ask or figure out the side effects or medicines that contain the same ingredients, to give your child medicine per the directions using the proper dispensing device?
I especially like this "Although the side effects are rare, they are serious, the FDA said. They can include death, convulsions, rapid heart rates, and decreased levels of consciousness. " If I took too many Tylenol or too much Benedryl or even too many vitamins - I'd have the same problem, but adult meds aren't taken off the market.
I like this too, "She directed parents and caregivers to look at the active ingredient in the drugs, to take care in giving more than one kind of drug to children, to use only the measuring device that comes with the drug, and to consult a physician with questions." Gee, ya think? It's like "don't spill hot coffee or it will burn you" - it's all sensible stuff - just be fucking responsible! The decongestant nose drops work very well for Savanna when she's stopped up, luckily I have a stash that I will continue to use because I can use them correctly - I'm good like that. I also give her Robitussin Night-time cough... so what's the difference in the doctor prescribing my child Tylenol with CODEINE and or me using Robitussin on them??? I can misuse both of them, right???? You can misuse anything, right? Some parents feed their kids too much - is that abuse of food? Are they going to take food away because some parents give their child too much fruit juice, which has sugar and too much sugar can cause hyperactivity - and too much food can cause obesity and childhood obesity is a growing problem, which can lead to adult obesity, which can lead to death, diabetes, high blood pressure, ect...
I bitched at my pediatrician about all of this - he said "it's not that you can't get them, you'll just have to get them from me now in prescription form", which is good for him, the insurance companies and the drug makers... hmmm... was it a conspiracy? We are already funding his retirement between our two kids - he told me this himself.
These meds have been on the market for years, so the way to control parents who cannot pay attention to detail is to take the meds off the market for everyone. I'm glad we don't take this way of thinking on everything... just think about it for a minute.
Well, here is the start...
Breakfast was a frozen breakfast sandwich - whole grain English muffin with Black Forest Ham, egg white and cheese. I am very excited about finding that - it is not bad at all. Whole grain, egg white, ham, quick??? Yay! I don't remember the brand.
Lunch was Lean Cuisine Panini with a salad - I am now craving sweets since I'm restricting myself, so I had a handful of dark chocolate M&M's.
Snack was Wasa Crisp Bread with a Laughing Cow cheese wedge - blah, not very good at all, boring and flavorless
Dinner will be tomato sauce on whole wheat pasta - maybe a salad if my bag of salad hasn't gone brown.
Activity will be throwing baby above my head - ok, not throwing really. Chasing toddler into the bathtub...
I think I could write for therapy purposes for 3 days right now. Isn't moving like one of the biggest stresses you can have in life? Add 2 baby kids on top of that, and see how much you can get done, and how quickly... but it's shaping up now. I can't say I like it completely yet - I am mostly annoyed by everything in life these days.
I am so glad we are leasing right now, I'm finding stupid things about this house that you would never find if you weren't living there - and if I had purchased it, I'd be crazy nuts mad and upset and depressed. For example, the master bath is nice & big, even has sky lights, but the cabinet storage sucks ass - there is no long ceiling to floor cabinet, there are no cabinets above the toilet or above the sinks. The kitchen doesn't have open entry points - they are like normal doorway entry points so the way it's laid out, 2 people can't pass each other to get into or out of the kitchen, especially if our new GARGANTUAN fridge is open because it blocks the most convenient entry point. The dishwasher door skims the oven door. The landscaping in the front yard is such that you have to park your vehicle in precisely the right spot to hit the walkway - otherwise you are stepping into flower beds or around bushes. There is an electrical outlet way up high in a tiny, tiny cabinet, but there is no electrical outlet on an entire wall of a built in desk. I don't understand it. They must have been smoking crack when they built it. You know, that reminds me I need to stop saying "I need to stop smoking crack" - I've said it a couple of times when I've forgotten things at work.
I think you should be able to spend a night or two in a pre-owned home before you buy it. Take a shower, cook a meal, sleep - just listen to it before you buy it.
My aunt has decided there is a ghost in the house. She's heard noises - I can chalk them all up to our fat cat, who can sound like a human walking around. But I do admit that when we first moved in, I specifically wondered about a ghost for some reason - and I do tend to have some type of 6th sense here & there. But if there is a ghost, it seems to be a nice one, and if there is a ghost, I will set him/her straight about who's house it is - Yes, I think you have to set spirits straight and let them know that you have a strong will because you are alive... and they aren't.
I'm going to the gym this week for the first time in A. VERY. LONG. TIME. No more pregnancies = I have no excuses, well, other than it being a mad rush to get anything done, especially anything for myself. I've got to make eating plans and such, as well.
Ok... bye.
New Year's Eve = Savanna tumbling/rolling down the stairs in our new house. No, she hadn't been drinking, and her fall was rather graceful actually.
It was darker, a new place - our first night in the house, she thought she could hold the rail and so did I - but there she went before my eyes, tumbling...rolling all the way down the stairs and landing on the hard tile at the bottom with a splat. I screamed, my aunt screamed - Savanna got up herself and cried a scared cry, probably more due to all the screaming and my panic attack. I kept hugging her and saying "are you ok, are you OK" - and through her sweet little scared tears she'd say "okaaayyyyyy.... okkkkayyyyy..." God - rip my heart out of me! I poked her and lifted her arms, legs, felt for knots on her head - everything appeared fine, no injuries at all other than everyone being scared to death - and the GUILT, and me replaying it constantly in my head.
The next day was fine, but the morning of the 2nd she woke up very whiny. The whining got worse and worse, developed into a painful cry. She wouldn't let me put her down, she wouldn't walk, she'd hunch herself over and touch her tummy if we'd ask "what hurts?" So... off to the ER because we were so afraid that something inside her got knocked sideways during her tumble.
We took her to an adult ER - didn't even think to take her to Children's Hospital. The adult ER was a mistake - the Dr. focused on the fall, was convinced she had some "slow internal bleed" even after the ct scan and Xrays came back normal. She was insistent, downright pushy, that we take her to Children's after 5 hours of being with her - it was "trauma" this, "trauma" that - trauma was her favorite word. She even wanted us to take her in an ambulance - we drove her ourselves - an ambulance seemed ridiculous at this point. From the beginning I mentioned simple constipation as a possible culprit - but she wouldn't entertain any of that - not even for one second even after the scans came back normal. Savanna was in a TERRIBLE mood after all the poking and prodding and xrays - and they hadn't let her eat or even drink ANYTHING for hours, so we didn't eat either. When we asked if we could just take her home to "observe" her at home in her own environment, the ER doctor would say "well, she's not being her normal self is she? She woke up screaming in pain, didn't she? I wouldn't want her walking around with a broken pelvis, would you?" - Well, no she NEVER woke up SCREAMING IN PAIN, and of course she isn't her normal self after going through everything she's been through at this ER and do broken bones hide from CT scans?? Are you serious - why would she be her normal self, this isn't a normal morning for any of us? But we felt like we'd be abusive parents if we didn't go to Children's - we already had to have an interview with social services because Savanna had fallen down the stairs. Hubby even got into a small argument with the ER doctor about why we needed to go to Children's after everything came back normal... she called our pediatrician and convinced him that we should go to Children's - she won, we went - mostly against our gut instinct that Savanna was fine.
Luckily the doctors at Children's were - what is the word - more reasonable, less panicky, smarter, nicer? They immediately ruled out any issue from the fall. Saw from the xrays that her "bowels were full of stool", but you can't ever be sure if pain is from constipation in a small child who can't talk - so more "observing". They sent a trauma surgeon in right at the time they were about to do a catheter to check for a UTI because all other tests came back normal - at this point my eyes felt like they were bleeding - he said "don't do that, just bag her." I said "what does that mean?" He said "it means we're not going to do anything else invasive to her because I think she's had enough and we need to just leave her alone. I think she's fine. Feed them all." And sure enough - after she had some food in her belly, apple juice - we all got food in our bellies - she perked up/we all perked up, she started playing and wanting out of my arms. I got her popcorn and a balloon. Then she pooped hard pellets, and she started dancing and singing and walking up & down the hallways & didn't even want to sit down anymore. They were about to admit us into a room but I had them call the nurse to show her that Savanna was back to normal - so FINALLY, an end to the real "trauma".
13 hours of pure hell and a semester's worth of college for a poop. Much better than a lacerated liver, huh? As I told hubby "doctors have to start with the worse case scenario or people can die" - but I think this ER doctor went a little overboard. She even rolled her eyes at Hubby when he asked her a question, and he called her out on it - she checked herself, realizing that as a doctor - no question is a dumb question when you are speaking to parent's of a toddler in pain.
Lesson: Take your kids to Children's Hospital, and follow your gut because no one knows your child like you do. Our gut was to have her checked out at the Er, but then when everything was fine, we wanted to take her home - and I think maybe we should have.
I talked to our own pediatrician about it later - he said "better safe than her having a broken hip, right?" - and I said "sure, but wouldn't a broken hip have shown up on the ct scan - and her bowels being full of stool?" He paused in confusion... and said "yep." He reiterated that our lesson in this is to go to Children's. I know that first ER doctor didn't fully tell him the situation - she went into her panic mode with him too but I'm sure all dr's will agree with each other in that observing is the best thing for a toddler who can't speak.
However - Savanna went through more trauma in those 13 hours of being "observed" than she did in the 15 seconds tumbling down the stairs. I tell you hearing the words "Savanna is going to have a very bad morning. We need to do a Ct scan to look for a slow internal bleed" - will make you have a very, very bad day.
C'est La Vie... all's well now.
Happy New Year?
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